Glimmers of Hope that Inspire and Empower our Lives!!

A War Against the Enemy

The canopy shines down upon me with it's bright beautiful light, spurring me on with its powder blue sky's to keep on keeping on. Its warm, soft fibers wrap me up in a comfortable, soothing blanket where I have been blessed to have people who care about me, and can guide me, and help me, and lead me to problem solve, and fix this 2 month old frustration and dilemma I've been having to maintain and fix my blog; so that I can continue to write my entry's to all of you.

It is indeed a blessing, because I was beginning to wonder if I would eVER get this thing working again.  I am so connected to writing and sharing, and touching other individuals lives who have Cerebral Palsy, a learning disability, and aNY other kind of developmental delay; that I do not know what I would do if I couldn't write, connect, or reach out in the way that I do. 

Thus, I want to thank all of you for being patient with me as I keep moving forward to make this blog and my site the best you expect it to be.  I welcome all your suggestions and kind words, as I continue to fight the good fight and continue to speak up for the rights of people with disabilities and advocate on your behalf! 

I will climb the highest mountain, and speak the truths as I see them.  It has been well over thirty years since I have started on this path and no one, no where, no how, will stop me from empowering and inspiring and leading the way to real solidarity in the world we live in today.  We must forge forward, together, in unison.  We must do this by continuing to break down the walls and the berries that separate and divide us. We must keep our chins up, and face our foes head on, and we must continue our battles in a constructive, positive, reaffirming way.  We will succeed, and keep succeeding, and conquering, but ONLy if we lend our hands to another. 

If you want to wage a war against discrimination, or in any mater- we must all work together in partnership  and truly heLP each other across the board like I was today, and yesterday, from a fellow CPer."?))))))))) If we all find it within ourselves to help or lend a helping hand to one another we will all better ourselves.

Progress While Moving Forward

The cold of winter has left for the season, as well as the hearts and arrows of Valentine's Day.  They have been left behind by the many moments and minutes and weeks gone by.  If you haven't seen any entries from me going up lately on this blog for the past two months, it has been because I have been literally and physically jumping hurtles to cope and deal with people who are "EXPerts" in their own fields, who think they know it all- about EVERything!

Some people have suggested that I rewrite all of my articles with a preface. While others, tell me to get Goggles help, and still other technicians offer little or no suggestions at all.  What then is a poor, sincere girl like me suppose to do?

All and all, I have continued on the straight and narrow.  In the last couple of months, I have not only been making arrangements to fly back to the east coast, but I have begun the process of trying to expand my visibility.  I have secured a speaking engagement for the historical society at Kean University.  This is just another goal that I have been working towards to empower myself and others.  Because of my Dear and devoted friend, professor Sean Dineen, this speaking event has been made possible. 

We will be making a video of my presentation which I hope to share and make available to all my readers and compatriots.  I am really looking forward to this trip-in meeting new people, making new contact, and expanding my own personal circle of friends.  I await anxiously to spread my story and book to those who have no idea of who Karen Lynn is.

I do this because I find a deep reward in giving of myself and of sharing my life with others. I have experienced so much throughout my entire life span; that I feel that this is the least I can do.  I feel that this is the only way to give back to the world and community, and to stay personally connected with each and everyone of you!  It also gratifies me in surmountable ways, of which, has profound effect on my life, and gives me an energy that revitalizes my spirit.   All of you have either watched me personally, or experienced for yourself, what daily struggles and challenges are like.  Weather living with a disability or not, we all have moments in our daily affairs which we have to cope and deal with.  But if we have a friend to turn to... it makes life a whoLE lot easier to deal with these difficulties effectively.

I share with all of you, so that we all are not alone, and so we all have each other to turn to! 

 

Valuing Who We Are

The days of January 2008 have almost passed us by. The rain has drenched the grown, the snow covers the mountain tops, and the sun tries to shine brightly through the grayish clouds. Pretty soon, it will be Valentine's day where partners send flowers and roses valuing their significant other. Will we stand alone or will we too be valued?

In the Oxford English Dictionary, the definition for the word valued is...the regard that something is held to deserve; importance or worth. Are we and our lives held with value or worth?  Do others accept us for who and what we are?  Disability, silent or not?  Do we accept others and ourselves with the sensitivities we have as being people (with Cerebral Palsy or a learning disability)?  Even though, we have C.P., a learning disability, have scoliosis, a developmental delay, arthritis, or whatever our disability may be- WE are still men and women, young and old, of the human race.  We still want to be treated respectfully and with care and kind regard.

We want to be treated like those without a disability. We want to reach our highest potential and reach for the stars.

So, let me ask you... do  you do everything you can to move your life forward?  And if you can't is there someone caring for you who can?  Are you not only valuing yourselves more, but the one's around you taking steps to give you the worth, regard and importance you to deserve?  Do you feel your own worth and confidence? 

For the most part, in our hearts of hearts, it matters to us deeply  that others care.  It matters how much people around us and in the disabled community understand and value us.  It matters that we be treated with value.  What ever our disability is, we would like people in our lives, our community, our world, our schools, and in our organizations to treat us like those without a disability.

Instead of competitiveness, let us teach others around us, to turn away from needing or having it all!  Teach others how you need help, And show them the light and power of helping those who need help the most.  It is not in the material or worldly good that we fine peace and harmony and worth within our every day experience- Instead, it is in the act of giving of ourself selflessly and lending advise and a hand to though's who need it the most. 

This Valentines, see what kind word or dead or act you personally can bring to the hearts of those with special needs.  See how you feel.  See the difference it brings to your spirit.  It takes thought and mindfulness, care and consideration.  It takes intention to do something positive.  It takes a willingness to make a difference in just one person's life.  And it take doing ONLY one good dead to bring someone hope and joy! 

How can each and every one of us make a contribution to society.  How can we bring hope and faith to those who what it , need it, and deserve it the most?  How can we make ours and other peoples voices heard?  How can we help to move our and those other peoples lives around us forward? How can we bring peace back into our and others lives?  It is our basic right- these are the fundamentals of wiping out true discrimination. Help me to make a stand and to make a difference one person at a time! I ask you...

We need to communicate our needs, our wants, and our desires and those achievement that would truly make us happy and fulfilled, while gaining the publics respect and our world to value us as human being such as we are.  We must know within our own conscience that we are doing good, that we are making a differences.

Choice and Destiny Lead to Control and Insidership

I thought I would spend the first blog of the new year on something a little different.  I thought I would share and mingle some positives thoughts for my life and yours! 

I have learned a great deal from the challenges that have come with my C.P.  All my life I have had to work doubly hard to get to where I am and to have created a life for myself and those I care about.  Every-time, I mastered a new skill, whether it was driving, getting a job, or building this website, my sense of control over my own life was enhanced.  "Destiny has a thousand pieces of wrapping paper over it."  I think what Armand Hammer meant by that is that out of struggle and adversity comes a great desire to achieve in every aspect of our lives.  It feels me with pride to know how much I, and each one of you has accomplished in our own lives.

The effort myself and all of us have put out in our families, our work, and our spiritual lives pays off in a hundred different ways.  A person can only succeed by putting out all that they are.  It has allowed me to lite a spark that has been burning for a very long, long time. And this light has developed into a blazing display of contentment, joy and happiness.   Knowing and feeling all of your support with me has given me a new sense of dedication.  My hope has expanded and has taken on a new meaning.  Because without any of you, I am truly nothing!

The disabled community has a special love for each other, a deep connection and link to a kinship which is un-breakable.  A bond that will last until eterinty. This connection, which is based on knowing how much we have worked to achieve.  These specific challenges may differ, but, we have seen the glory of the light, and, we know first hand how much we need God and each other to bring hope not only to each other, but to the world.  As a great American play-write said, "Our task is to rise and continue."

In everything that we do, we remind ourselves and the world not to take anything for granted.  We defy the all to common idea that nothing is worth a long term effort.  I have seen a thousand types of struggle: to deal with discrimination, physical and mental pain, and the daily task of cleaning house, taking a shower, caring for my animals and hubby, and finding within, the courage to reject every limitation other people put on myself. 

I hope, that reading this blog I have set up and written for all of you, has made your own struggles a little easier and your joy last a little long.

Poor Standards and Self Education

One of the thing I have always struggled with is the argument between the help I felt I needed, and that which "my helpers" were willing to give me.  This was particularly true with my education.  I have struggled for many years as you have heard me write about because I didn't receive the help I truly needed.  People either got to much or too little of what they "really" needed. Especially today, where there is very little concern for individual learning styles and needs. 

Educator are too worried, anxious, and obsessed with target and memorization. Leaving out the most important concepts to build not only skill, and memorization, but self-confidence and self-esteem.  Unfortunately, because I was not getting the help I needed, I had to find other sources and ways to thrive, learn, and retain.  My educators, had little understanding of my potential.

Later, I had to fight for the right, to learn, and to go to college, to fill all the empty spots I had not learned in twelve years of education in the educational system. What is wrong with this picture?  Today, the educational system has not gotten any better.  So my dear readers, and friends, we must forge forward, stay motived, and educate ourselves though travel, reading, and conversation. However, there is far more to be learned. 

I had learned a great deal from my own experience, and thoughts I worked with while doing adaptive aerobics and Yoga.  The journey is not over my friends.  Yet I think we are turning a corner. Every time I write on this blog I am learning from you, as you are from me.  This computer is the greatest tool for interaction and learning this world has known.

Dignity & Respect

I keep getting Google blog alerts on Learning Disabilities, and I cannot help but think about the honest dignity and respect we truly get as a person or person(s) with a physical disability or a learning disability.

In my opinion, there is truly very little dignity or respect given us!  It is condescending and makes one feel less than good about themselves- as they pat you on the head, and throw you a bone, as you are pushed though the system for there benefit.  Never once, in my entire life, have I received anything positive or constructive from the social system that I live in.  I have had to fight for myself each and every step of the way- and still am today!

I have been pushed and shoved and prodded into programs and workshops which were really beneath my level to succeed as a normal person in society.  I have been looked down upon and scrutinized and labeled mentally retarded each and every time I had an educational desire or goal I wanted to accomplish.

I believe, that true dignity and respect is when others truly try to help you more forward in your life or situation.  They not only help by guiding you, but they encourage you, and they believe in you! They show you the way and the ropes to attain those desires before it's too late or before you are middle age or your life is half over! 

They advise and inspire you to keep reaching towards your star's.  And they empower your soul by bringing you hope in your heart.  They give you a reason and purpose to keep carrying on.  They believe in you too, by their warmth and care as they root you on with encouragement each and every step of the way.  They motivate you in ways that work for you. Not in ways that work best for them!

Instead of nurturing you and your development and abilities, they negatively tell you that you have "pike dreams".  They don't have the insight or the compassion that it takes to either stir you on, or to fortify you with positive affirmations to help you attain another accomplishments in your life. Instead, they reticule you in ways that you question yourself and your motives and  abilities.  One begins to doubt themselves and wonder if they are being honest and true.  Their believe in themselves begins to fade away and they begin to sip on the non-truths the system is feeding them. 

This system, is not a system of empowerment-  It is a system of beating you down, till you cannot rise up from the hole anymore!  How shameful! How heinous a crime to be beaten down for someone elses power and greed, so you have little power or say so over your own life and destiny. How deplorable, despicable, and low-down is that?  No matter what you say and try to do to defend yourself makes matters even worse! 

And that is why I have tirelessly fought my whole, entire life- and still fight for today!  It's that simple dignity and respect that I too can live, and move, and breathe, like everyone else here on this plant.  I am not a monster to be stared at- or to be looked down upon, just because I unfortunately had brain damage and got Cerebral Palsy when I was an infant!  We who have disabilities want to partake in this simple thing called life, too!  It does not matter what degree we can, just as long as we can , and we can have a say-so in our own lives!

This being said,I am convinced that those who have C.P. like myself, with a learning disability, who REaLLY, truly  want to go out into the world and be like every one else in society- making a living for themselves- putting food on the table for themselves, and working with joy amongst others, to put their own clothing on their own backs, as they make their own decisions and choice's, and pay their way throughout life, just like any other normal human being- for their own wants, and, for their own needs and desires- and with their own income; making choices for themselves without government paid programs or watch dog's watching their every move.  We are frowned and looked down at- and we underhandedly are looked at like we are criminals!

We, C.Per's like this, want to be dependent on ourselves- not others!  We want to live normal healthy lives, and co-existence- living in peace and harmony just like everyone else.  We are simply not given the help, the chance, or the opportunity- nor are we given the precious right of dignity and respect to do just that!!!!  Oh how I would like to see more dignity and respect for all us people with Cerebral Palsy and a learning disability or any disability for that matter. 

We must be there for each other! Perhaps if each and every one of us reading this would stand up for themselves, we could change the way people and the world, and the way these professionals treat us and look at us!

People's jealousy

Have you ever been in a situation where you were aware that people were threatened by your action's, words, thoughts, and deeds?  How did you react or respond to them?  How did their subtle behavior make you feel?  When people or co-worker's did that to me, it made me feel terrible!  It made me question myself, and it made me feel very upset because I knew I had no motives but to do my job as accurately as I could,( which was pretty darn good) and, do my best.  Perhaps my best was better then their best- so they felt threatened!

Many a times, throughout my lifetime, I have been around people who were completely threatened by me, my giving attitude and nature, and my ability to work hard, be accurate, and to stay truthful, honest, and loyal to the company, as well as get my job done. 

I guess my one hand was faster then there's! I guess I did everything with my heart, and they could not handle it. If one is not strong enough to handle jealousy, it can be a big deterrent towards working with others successfully.  It requires learning to not let other peoples looks, and behavior's towards you get to you.  And that is a skill all of its own- especially if you are disabled. 

We are very sensitive, loving, caring, human beings that do not think about maliciously hurting others while working.  We just want to fit in!  We want to feel like others!  We want to feel as though we have a meaning and purpose in this world, and a place to go to and be constructive.  We think more about how we can do our job, and get it done.  We are not petty, subtle, and contrived.  We do not think of how we can hurt or harm others to get ahead in the process. 

Some how, experience after experience, living life the best and the fullest we can, we begin to develop a thick enough layer of skin to not let what others say effect us or our ability to work happily and productively. We learn or try to learn one experience at a time to not let people's jealousy get in the way of our usefulness.

Some times are easier then others... And sometimes, they are very difficult!  Sometimes its like taking one step forward and 5 steps back.  Sometimes we think we are not learning and growing, yet we are.  We just don't see it or recognize it!  Its all in the way we look at others, learn to interact with other's, and how we choose to deal with other people's emotions.

If we all learned to work together, in harmony, and learn to share our feelings constructively, without competition in the for-ground; as our main goal and focus... and learn to support and help each other's in our endeavors, I don't think we would feel the feeling which we do. I think then we could all learn to live together, get along with each other, and get ahead and not be resentful or jealous.

Open to Learn

Ever since I can remember, no matter how difficult the challenge of learning was for me, I went the distance. Despite my Cerebral Palsy and Dyslexia, and despite being able to write my girlfriends last name instead of my own in first grade, I stayed the course.  I remember not being able to sleep at night.  I remember worrying my little head off, and thinking and staying up all hours of the night tossing and turning.  I remember my mother buying me a pink, Zenith, clock radio so that it would help lull me to sleep!  Do you think it helped?

Sometimes!  But most nights, I wound up turning the dial for another hour or two of clasical music  instead of falling fast asleep by 7:40p.m. I was up until 10 or 11 at night. I can remember rolling over in bed- to and fro, in constant movement and anguish.  My mind was never quiet or still.  It was always in deep, deep thought.  Many a nights I can remember tossing from side to side thinking..."How am I ever going to remember this stuff!" "How am I ever going to remember these words for my spelling test tomorrow..."  But some how I did.  Somehow, I got through-  Maybe it was mind over matter.  Maybe I did not realize the power of my word!

And for sure, I did not realize how deeply rooted and seeded my will to succeed was!  I really never realize the power of my thought.  The power of my intension's. Nor, did I realize how determined I really was!  All I knew was that some how I was going to make it-  Some how I knew I HAD TO MAKE IT!

Some how, some way, I found myself trying to overcome and compensate for the barriers I faced.  I tried to recognize and counter act what was happening to me. I tried to retain, and I tried to make up and neutralize the blocks and barriers I had.  All I wanted was to be able to learn like the other children I went to school with; who pick up the material they were learning with ease.  I did not want to be made fun of, nor did I want my school work ripped up by bullies.

My learning never came with that ease for me.  It was always hard, difficult, and relentless!  It didn't feel like I was, learning a thing- but I guess I did-  I was alway open to a new way of learning and new ways to listen or finding new technique's or method's that would help allow me to learn like others. 

I was open to listening, to find a better way, and I was open toward a solution to this learning problem I had.  I was open to someone who could really help me.  I guess because of my open- mind, and receptive attitude, it came to pass. And I am so very grateful I did.  Because I think..."Where would I be today if I was not!"

Being Different and Unique

Having Cerebral Palsy and a learning disability has taught me many lesson's in life. It has taught me to be grateful.  It has taught me Patience's, and the capacity to handle delay, trouble, and for the most part not suffer or feel angry or upset at situations or experiences that have occurred in my life.

Yes, I have felt anger at moments.  However, I found constructive ways to deal with my anger and disappointments.  I learned to grow from these hurts and sadness.  I found ways to compensate for my hurt feelings, my hopes, and my non-fulfillments.  I found ways to ease that hurt and pain and learned to make and accept the best of it all.  I learned to bounce back and go beyond, too! 

I learned that all these experience's made me a better person and human being.  These experiences taught me to feel very grateful for who I am and what all I have been through and accomplished in my life time.  Not to say that it has been easy- because it hasn't!  But I have learned to ride the roller-coaster and take the bumps! And, I have learned to count my blessing, give to other's what I have learned, and I have risen above what "other people" thought of me.

Being different and unique has shown and taught me how beautiful a person I really am. And, it has made me real aware of how unique I am!  Being different, and unique, while having Cerebral Palsy is really and truly a gift!  These uniqueness have left an indelible mark within my being.  It has not only nourished me to be me. But It has nourished me to be the best person I could become, and has made me continually reach for my goals and dreams!  It has brought out the kind, compassionate and giving part of me and my nature and made me different than the norm.  It has enabled me to fight for whatever I thought was really right in my world,in my thoughts, and idea's and desires.  It has made me a better human being  in all areas of my life.

No matter what the feelings are, I will continue to be and stay the unique and different person that I am...

Accountability

In the last few weeks, since I have written, I have learned much again about people in general and human nature.  Once again, I find that this world we live in today, is very selfish.  People are only out for their own selfish self, and that it is "a dog-eat-dog" world.  The government does not recognize you.  People tend to look the opposite way, or pat you on the head if you are young.  If you shake or tremble they think you are drunk.  And then there are those, who yes you, to your face, tell you what you want to hear, but NEver are they really willing to give of themselves and go the distance for you or give you a break, or lend you a kind hand. 

I'm here to tell you that there is a hand full of us who have Cerebral Palsy or a learning disability who's paralyzes is very slight or mild. "We" are the exceptions.  We will do anything, and go to ANY lengths to be accountable, responsible, ethical, earnest, and answer up to our actions, need, wants, and desires. We will put ourselves right out their on the line.  We will tell people how we feel, we will be honest and truthful, and we will get slapped in the face and rejected because of it!  People just don't want to own up or be accountable to US!  "The norm is just not that way-  They want little or nothing to do with us.  They want their fee's, but when you ask for yourself... well, they want you to do it for nothing!

For those of us like myself, how are we, then, suppose to make it in society?  How are we truly suppose to support ourselves? How are we to get along in a world when we won't be treated as an equal? I ask you?  It's getting worse and worse out there.  The economy is not getting ANY better, politicians are out for their own political agenda.  And, if the government doesn't care, and they keep cutting our benefits, as well as our yearly Social Security cost of living increses.  By their actions, they are telling us with disabilities, that we are not important or mean anything to society.  They don't care enough to recognize us, our talent, or our abilities, and they frown upon anyone who does...how is it then, that they are REAlly giving us a "real" so called chance.  Where is the"real compassion to be accountable to help those who are desperately trying to help themselves.

We try so hard to do everything possible to walk, beyond what we've known to make a new and better life for ourselves, and, yet, repeatedly, we are hit down with a sledge hammer to keep us in the same place and predicament we have known from the get go.

All I know is that I am getting a very thick coat and armor:>))  I also know that I personally would give my right, good, arm to help someone who needed it; weather they had the money or not.  I would help them feel worthy and have the self-confidence and worth in their heart and soul of succeeding.

I must be honest with all of you when I say this really hurts and breaks my heart;

Self-Determination

Ever since I can remember, I have AlwAYS been self-determined.  It has been a contributing partnership in my life from the very early days of my being.  Where did it come from? I could not tell you- but I knew it has been all powerful, and has always been there for me. I guess you could call it an instinct, a sixth sense- It was always by my side.  It has walked hand and hand with me in every situation in my life, and everything I have gone through. 

It has been like a trusted servant, or a very good friend, guiding, guarding and lighting my way. It was always there when I needed to call on it; especially when I came to major turning points in my life, and I needed guidance, answers, and protection.

I somehow knew I could turn to it, and rely upon it.  It never turned me away, nor did it steered me wrong!  It was always there, right in the pit of my gut, right near my heart.  And the times I did not listen, it made me see and become that much more aware of just how important it was to do so.  I could turn to it in a split second. When I needed it the most.   

I would listen very carefully to its quiet, gentle voice.  And I would listen to what it was telling me to do or what road to follow.  If I was patient enough, and willing enough to go through the feelings and the emotions, I would always get the answer's I was looking for or needed.

When experts or individuals told me..."ahhhh sweetheart, you know that this task is too difficult for you"... or, "...you know you have trouble learning..."  I  would proved them wrong. I would literally take matters into my own hands without verbally speaking or saying a word to anyone. Them telling me I could not do something would fire me up inside, made me angry, and thus, gave me the motivation I needed to prove them wrong.

These were some of my most intuitive moments. I seemed to be able to hear what they were saying, tune them out, know that, that was their opinion, and intuitively knew that they were wrong in the pit of my gut. Somehow I was able to work these feelings and emotions out, released the negative impact these words, phrases, and tapes had upon me, and turn them around to become a positive and all powerful force within myself.  I would become steadfast in my thinking, and affirm what I wanted to change within myself and who I wanted to become.  Thus, believing in myself when no one else did, and acting on those beliefs within myself, ultimately transformed my life.

I am so very grateful to myself, because who knows what kind of person I would have become, if I did not listen or allow myself to be the unique individual that I am.

Scrutinized

In my life-time I have been under heavy scrutinizing because I chose to live my life on my own teams.  I chose to live my life as a "Normal" person who has feelings, wants, needs, and desires-

I have talked up for myself, been faithful to myself, and, I have been determined to be treated with dignity and respect! When employers, co-workers, organizations, or individual's rewarded those around me who were talking down, behind, and around my back, or taking credit or advantage, of a current situation for something I did.  I was also wrongly scolded for being dressed inappropriately for teaching a fitness class, while being hired as a fitness instructor,too. 

In each of these situations, I spoke up for myself and stood my ground.  I never sold myself short. I lived by a standard of truth, honesty, integrity, and doing my job  to the best of my ability and then some.  I went above and beyond in all my duties, and gave a 120 % with all the goodness in my heart-

Today, I know differently-

And, because of this, I have been able to rise above it all.  I have been accountable and responsible for all my actions and conducts.  I have accomplished goals in my life, step by step that other's may have looked disapprovingly of.  Because of my motivation and willingness to succeed in every area of my life, I have been insulted, scorned, made fun of, studied, and criticized to the hilt.  I have been examined, and looked down upon, and grudgingly made to feel small.  Moreover,I have been looked at very closely and thoroughly with peering eyes.  and still, I have been looked at with such discuss, objection, and in such a hypocritical, disconcerting kind of way, that it truly hurt. 

These people found careful and meticulous ways to get rid of me. They found ways for me to be the "bad girl".  These individuals called my left arm "a wing", and mimic my limp and how I walk! 

Why!  Well, I don't really know- But these high ranking bosses were from a host of well known organizations that are still around and in existence today.  These are people who call themselves professionals, who also call themselves compassionate- they thought they knew more or new better than me.  Unfortunately, these professionals in the disable field, employers, psychologist, and doctor's are way too many.. actually to think about now, bother me, or hurt me anymore in my life, because I have moved on and away from the hurt, pain, and residue .  I have healed and truly want to let go of these memories that have shaped my life. I want to help others, instead, to work thought their own- by what I have experienced in mine.

These so called "professionals have wanted to probe my physical well being, and make sure I was emotionally stable- They have investigated and inquired into my life in ways that made me feel humiliated, judged, less than normal, scared, nervous, hopeless, and even helpless at times, but I was like a Trojan horse ready to surpass attack.  I kept carrying on despite them, in an honest, triumphant, and truthful way. 

Instead of making an individual comfortable within their own being, and rewarding them for their conscientiousness and integrity, they made me feel like I was on trial, or was a criminal who had committed the worst kind of crime! 

Why, you may be asking yourself?  Because I worked my hardest with the "ABIlitIES I had before me" I worked to accomplish my duty's all the time.  I worked with an accuracy and a perfection, and I always came into work happy, with a kind word, and a smile on my face looking forward to each and every day. I never let my Cerebral Palsy or learning disability get in my way.  I worked to over-come them, as  I worked to be like the "Norm" And I did what was asked of me no matter what.

Most the times, though, my work was better.  It was better than a person without a disability!  I never worked to compete with others.  I worked to accept and be in harmony with those around me, however, they could not, "see" it! I wanted so desperately wanted to fit in,  I wanted them to accept me for me, the hard work I completed and performed, and as an equal, individual wanting to work in the work place as a team player, a leader with a balance.  An individual with the same qualities as everyone around me.  I wanted to be equal to, or have the same kind of equivalents as them all.   

But I know differently now!  I know what this world is like. I have dealt with people, and have had many experiences to make me strong, which alert me to these acts of in-humanity.  I have been introduced and made aware of- and have lived in a world where people have this ruthless way about then, where they must be better than the next guy, desiring more success, greed, power, and control. 

These people could not, nor were they willing to, so they hurt me and belittled me in the process. They did everything they could with-in their power to make me believe contrary to the truth at hand. But I grew up, and I saw beyond the truth, and, their conniving ways. "They" "TRIed" to put me down, and pull the wool over my eyes, in ways that were de-humanizing!  In the long term I rose above them all! And I am grateful for these lessons.  I am endepted to them as I came out the winner-  Maybe not financially,  But morally, I did indeed! 

These people  have been very threaten of me, and the way I conducted myself.  They were intimidated, and afraid that I could do better or go farther and, you know what- I did! I really did! Perhaps I did do a better job- perhaps, better with one hand, then they could with two!

But with all judgment aside, and all do respect, these professional in these communities were indeed threaten of me. They were frighten of, or overawe as a hostel individual or human being of what I said, stood for, or was trying to do in my job, life, as an honest, free of deceit, whole-hearted manner.

Thus, I have set my own bar of excellence.  And, I have continued to raise it.  Yes, I may not have held a full time career like the norm, but I have lived my life by my own standards of truth, and honesty. I have had the soundness of thought and mind to live my life in a mindful and whole way, with internal consistency, and lack of corruption.

I have lived my life today never doubting myself, my abilities, my good character, my principles, or by selling myself short in a deceitful, conniving way.

Thus, in closing, I will continue to live my life in a trustworthy, dignified, truthful, sincere way, and to be a light and an example for others to emulate.

Normal

Normal- conforming to a norm, standard, regular, a normal temperature. ( psychol.)  Conforming to the standard or average for a particular type or group (loosely) mentally or emotionally sound. (math) Says the New Webster's Dictionary and Thesaurus. 

So what is "NORmaL" to you?

Being normal to me, is being able to accept myself as I am in totality.  It is being able to accept myself as our maker has made me- including all the trails, challenges, and joys of my life. Seen and unseen-  It is being able to accept  what happened to me when I was only 5 months old. And, it is being able to see the whole of me despite what others may think.  Which really is none of my business at all! 

My business is to continue to carry on- it is to continue to be the best person I can be no matter what. Normal to me, is learning about myself, and reaching beyond in all area's of my life- mentally, physically, and spiritually- It is truly being able to see how my maker wanted me, to rise above these challenges, that have not only confronted my spirit, but have shown me who I am, even with my Cerebral Palsy, and a learning disability, and what I could become, achieve, contribute to the world, and rise above...

"Being normal" could also be what we think others want us to be. That we don't "fit in" or act or speak, or dress a certain way. Normal to one person is not normal to another, as we all see things in our lives, in a different perspective and light.  We all have thoughts, and feelings, and issues, that we deal with on all different levels.   However, if we could not lay labels, barriers, and stigmas on others human beings, to make them feel ugly, inferior, or desperate inside, because of our own belief system, or what society make us to believe- we would find out that we are "ALL normal"

Everyone is different and unique in their own birthright.  You can see some disabilities while not others.  Who is it then, for us to judge another person, or say what is "NORmaL" . 

Integrity

I got to thinking about this word, integrity, and I realize I have stood behind myself, my words, and my beliefs as a human being, and, a person with Cerebral Palsy and a learning disability a hundred percent of the way- throughout my entire life-  I have believed in myself when others didn't.  I proved myself even though other didn't think I could accomplish or achieve.  I fought with my own, strong, morel conviction.  Not bowing to others with wicket tongues.  When I was called "Mentally Retarded"- it hurt- of course it hurt!  Very badly- but I gathered my strength within myself, and I made those negative words and statements into positives- with a shield and a sword that could fend of the worst of the worst. 

I continue to think to myself... "why is it that I am so pure, honest, direct, and sincere?  Why is it that others can't see that within me.  Why is it they cannot acknowledge this or praise me for this or help me in the little way I may need helping??  I ask myself... why can't people handle my honesty?  Is it because the world is not that honest, and they are ONLY out for their own selfish self?

Tell me! Are we living in such a world where people only look out for their own good and do not "reaLLY" care about others, or helping others? 

I hate to say this, but I do think so!  Yes, there are a handful of us out there...  who are willing to help others go the distance, and they open amazing doors for others... they give and share of themselves genuinely and completely. But that is not the norm in our "Competitive" world and society today.  My belief has alway been to help the next guy. So together we could live in peace and harmony and make a difference together.  There is ALWays room for all of us to have a piece of the pie. There is always room to be happy and spreed that happiness to others! But only if WE are willing to share these gifts with others and do not let our greed, our power, our suave abilities or ego's to get in the way of our usefulness.

I do not believe in using other's just to get ahead ourselves. I believe in all good things.  I believe in the integrity of helping people to feel good about themselves- I believe in the whole person, and in healing one's souls-  I believe in helping others feel good and worthy of themselves, body, mind, spirit and in heir thoughts and ideas.  I believe in genuine kindness- and, I believe in living together in peace and harmony- walking side by side without judgment or fear - 

Our world has to much hate and anger in it.  It would be so sweet if we could dissolve it like an air balloon letting go of its fuel never to be ever again.  I think if we all could contributed just a little, tiny bit every day, in some way, to bring a kind word or deed to others.  Our world would start to mend and heal.  We would not live in the chaotic way which we do.  This act of sharing kindness to others would make a big difference in our society, and contribute to own integrity as a person, a state, a nation, and a universe all around.

My integrity has lasted me all my life, and it will continue, as I am going to keep it for ever more!

Keep on Keeping on

Last night I received a very warm email from a new friend whom I met on the Internet.  It warmed the deepest part of my heart because I could feel the words she wrote.  "What kind of learning disability" Her words began rejuvenating my soul- lifting my spirits- And as always, her words helped me to see, once again, that all which I do has meaning and purpose and is not in vain-

Yes, I can't deny the fact that after all these years I'd like to be known or recognized, or be invited as a guest speaker and get reimbursed for going out and delivering these words of peals to all those that want to hear me.  I also want to be known for making a huge difference and contribution to other peoples lives. 

Oh how I want to give back to the world and to others with disabilities to let them know that they are not alone!  It is so vital and important to others and to myself to do this- it sings out to me in melodic form and lyrics, and it brings to mind one of Beethoven's musical pieces.  It tells me over and over again that all of this is so very worth it! All the challenges, all the joys, and all the time in my life I have spent making something of myself.

When my girlfriend wrote these words, I could feel my heart skip a beat, and I knew deep down inside that even if I don't become a well known keynote speaker, and if I don't get paid for what I do, that all of my actions here on earth will not go in vain.  I know that what I do comes directly from my heart-  It come with a sincerity and a goodness within the deeps of my being, to help all that want and ask for it- and It comes from the love inside of me!   

Still, after all these years of hard work, effort, determination and action, these kind words are my payment.  They are my source of inspiration and reward- they are my hope, and  my faith-  They are my bread and butter-

My hope is that someday an angel, a miracle, an intervention will come to pass for me-  Someone will hear my prayer- some how- somewhere in this all encompassing, competitive, world of ours, some kind soul will recognize me and hear my plea- and my word- and they too will know- they will have been touched- and some-how with their clout they will help me over my bump and hurdle.  My continuous hope, and prayer is that this kind someone will find the goodness in their hearts to reach out to me, to make a difference, in not only my life, and help me to open the doors, but ultimately, to help others even more-

I have spent my entire life doing this work that I do for little or nothing and only for "love" in return.

I'd like people to know that I need to do this to live and breathe-  It is the air that keeps me going- It is who I am-  I need people to know that this is my lifeline- and that I need to do this for not only the good of all man-kind but for my inner-self- it is to be a productive person in society- being able to be independent, self-reliant, self-sustainable by providing and putting my own bread and butter on my own table...

I need the world to know that even people with Cerebral Palsy and a learning disability can succeed- and that they can earn and make a living at something they love to do- I need them to know that our bodies may have impairments but our minds have the same needs, wants and desires, as all people- despite what "professionals and experts" make us  and other to believe.  We can work- especially at something we are good at doing! I need to share this with all my readers, and the world!  There is wayyyyyyyyyyy more to living than being labeled, put down negatively, or abused by others who call themselves professionals or bosses-  There is far more for us to do than just work in a workshop setting, or sit at home watching t.v. or sitting on the computer to pass the time of day-

I need all you readers out there to know this-  I need you to know that I/ we have desires just like everyone else does.  I need you all to know that I don't want to be taken for grated anymore either. For once in my life, I'd like to make it on my own- living in society- working for a living, and being content with-in my own being.  I'd like everyone else to know that "I/all" those with disabilities have desires and talents.  we can succeed if given a chance and the opportunity to do so- Time and again I have proved myself- I would like not to be taken for granted anymore- or settle for less than what I am worthy of- just because I have a disability doesn't mean you can step on and over us like dish rags- Yes this anger's me- it anger's me very much! 

I really need to let you, my readers, know, that I want to make a difference in my own life by making my OWN livelihood, doesn't matter if I am married or not, I need to feel my own dependency- on and for myself- doing it my way... I want people to know and understand that I have ALWAY paid my own way for everything I have done in my lifetime- I have not begged or pleaded for donation of such for anything like some I've come in contact with- I can do anything I put my mind towards doing, and I have proved this fact through my actions time and again- 

For once in my life I would like people to know and understand that yes,I do, do this ALWays "from the goodness and unconditional love of my heart"-  but that's where it stops now. That's the bottom line here and now.  I need others to know that I too need to be compensated for my actions and talents and first hand knowledge now- and until people recognize this- and take me seriously I will keep knocking until opportunity knocks-

Until then, I need to keep hearing these words and I need to keep reminding myself to be very grateful-these words are the precious words that are my reward and payment. 

They are sweet as sweet can be-  And they reaffirm my goodness.  They reaffirm my abilities,and they are a direct result to all the action I have taken throughout my entire life to make me who and what I am today.  Over and over again when someone says something like this to me, this quiet warm glow comes over me.  It make me radiate peace and harmony- and it bathes my being in joy and happiness.

This voice reminds me to not take things for granted and to be grateful for every experience in my life that I have had to ever go through.  It also tells me how far I have come, and where I am going- this inner-voice reverberates reveling gentle messages telling me why I do this- and why I keep on keeping on-  It reaffirms to me how it "must be", and why where-ever I am today it's where I'm suppose to be! Because I would be somewhere else if it were meant to be!

And thus, it makes me feel quiet inside knowing that someone else recognized my goodness and took the time to tell me who I truly am.

I am Only One Person

Time and time again I think to myself how different this world is than when I was a child.  How different it is since I was a young adult just starting on my journey.  And how different life has changed and is today.

I am only one person, but it would be so nice to see people giving of themselves freely and unconditionally in a genuine way, or to see acts of kindness shared more often.  I am only one person in this world we live in, and I will continue to make a difference in man kinds life in which ever way I can.

What Can I Do

This morning I received a Google alert on learning disabilities, and, oh how I wanted to participate and get involved, and work with these people and share with them what I know to enlighten them.  However, the position was in England I believed.  It was being part of a council and having  a voice for all people with LD to make legal changes in our system, and laws, and to help individuals with learning disabilities. 

If people would learn to take our word seriously, that would be such a blessing!  Not only for all the millions and millions of individuals, but to get real, honest feedback from people who have paid the price mentally, emotionally, or physically, instead of thoughts who have never experienced having a challenge like this at all.

This would be a sincere humbling  if organizations, companies, our government, legislation, and leaders would take a positive step forward to hear our voices and put us on committee's and councils to change the way things are now...  It would be a gift to all society and man kind if we were heard and truly listened to. 

It would be even sweeter if we were compensated financially for our knowledge and really taken seriously.  I personally would fight the good fight to bring all kinds of change to make a huge difference and impact for others as I have done for myself-  First I would stop categorizing us with people of down syndrome, mental retardation, ADD and  so forth.  I would also find a much better word to describe us.  I would not use degrading, heart-wrenching titles  and labels such as: developmentally delayed or disabled.

I would do all I could to first de-signify people who never chose to be disabled in the first place, or to be labeled.  I would start by finding real human ways and approaches to treating us with dignity and respect.

Music in Mind and Body

Music and Dance have been a gift to my life ever since I can remember.  I began dancing at the age of 3 1/2 years old.   And from the moment I heard my very first piece of music, and performed my very first shuffle bal-change, I knew the difference it was making in my life.  It brought a peace, love, and joy to my inner being as well as a self- worth and confidence that have helped me in so many other goals and dreams I have achieved throughout my life

Not only by listing to the sounds and rhythm's of each music, and melody presented to me, but through share willingness and determination to execute these steps and techniques,accurately, even though my body had a physical impairment and challenge of Cerebral Palsy, did I, or was I able to weep and see not only me developing my abilities, but conquering the challenges before me.

These daily and weekly lesson's brought to my body, mind, and soul something I have carried with me all these years later.  It all began way back when.  But before any "expert" knew what positive affects and effect's it would have on a persons spirit and life, let alone a person with a physical disability or learning disability - I knew the benefits it gave me.

I know how music, and dance have straighten my body, brought peace to my heart, and helped me to develop my coordination and so many other things the "experts" talk about today. 

I am only me.  I may not have financially been able to conquer my education, or get or be given a degree, because of some "knowledgeable person" who tried to dictate what they wanted for my life.  But I have soared, attained, and accomplished goals in my life, without this "piece of paper" they call a degree and I am an expert in my own right.

I know more through personal experience than most "book learned people". I know first hand how music and dance have helped me.  It has not only been physically, but it helped me with my learning and with my thought processes as well.

Article 116 Never Stop's

I've been on automatic pilot for the last week everyone! I have been writing letter after letter, now, and  pounding the pavement while making myself visible by writing letter after letter about the work I do and want to do. If any of you have tips about marketing and networking in a special specific field, would you be so kind as to write me.  Thanks

Getting Around A System That Doesn't Work

Dear Readers, how awful is this! I got to thinking today how "every" aspect of a disabled or special needs person's life is scrutinized by "Helpful Experts" who assume God like powers over our goals, our dreams, our thoughts, our abilities, including our wishes to have a livelihood of our own.  How dear they step in front of us and block the way of our natural flow.  Everything from a career choice, to how we put on our shoes and socks.  Better yet, how we even go to the bathroom, is subject to morbid interest and thorough examination. It is critical, meticulous and malicious. Yet, they seem to pull it off.

Our genuine desires as human beings, to led happy, productive lives is intensionally disregarded as they fail to consider our expression of success and happiness.  We are never really taken into real consideration.  Even if we have some kind of challenge, as a disabled person, our desires to attain our goals or degrees, aught to be recognized and respected.  Even if it is just going into work.  It would be a joy to have a say so in our destination which society pays no attention or heed to. 

This infuriates me to no end, as time, and time, and time again, I have strived, and attempted, and fought for every ounce and every bloody achievement that I have made today.  These years of fighting with a system that does not see us as worthy to listen to, have indeed left their scars. 

If only our struggles were given the same importance as other suppressed people, it would make life a whole lot easier.  Instead, precious years have been frittered and thrown away, down right wasted, trying to get around artificial barrier's of the worst kind.  My dear friends, this struggle is often hidden from people who do not experience it directly, but is no less real.

If I can bring this idea into your heart's and minds then my life long work and struggle has been worth the while.

What we go though as Disabled People

The hardest part about having a disability is that no one really take us seriously.  It is like pulling teeth to be heard as we wish to be heared, and taken into consideration and regarded like the rest of the world. Too many times, we as "disabLED individuals" are payed no attention too, ignored, over-looked, and "be programed" to being nice little individuals, which turn into Convienent robots. This being, because they fear we will loose control and embarress them.  Thus, we who have Cerebral Palsy, a learning disability of Dyslexia, and or any other type of disability are; tossed a bone to keep us pacified, and are patronized, and are regarded as a problem, rather than a asset to our world and our community. 

We too often are looked down upon rather than regarded as someone with importance, worth, or value and worthy of attention.  We are plighted beyond words because it is easier to ignore our abiLITIes to focus on  details.  Time and time again I have been aware of others viewing me as a helpless, victim, and not the intelligent, confident person, that I am.  We find acceptance from the public and professionals when we are cute little children, and are not a threat to society.  But we grow up, have a mind of our own, and desires to fill, that acceptance immideately fades away into nothingness! 

Outcome

I do not know what will come of all the letter's I've sent out in the last couple of days to promote myself, and my abilities as a public speaker- but what ever it is, I know that I did not sit back on my tush doing nothing!  I know I have moved forward. I know I have put myself and my abilities out there on the line.  I know way down deep, within myself, that I have gone beyond and taken all the action I know how to take-  I have done my part in thought, spirit and deed- and, there is NO WAY that I am going to stop reaching for that dream of mine! I am going to achieve, and conquer, and keep moving forward to reach MY mountain top, and make it happen for myself.  Some how, some way it will be reveled to me!  Just like everything else in my life...  I just hope it does not take forever!  I see many disabled speakers out there.  But none who have gone thought what I have with Cerebral Palsy and a learning disability, nor fighting for my life. And they are out there speaking and making a living for themselves.  So why CAN'T I!!!!  I'll be very honest with myself, dear blog, It would be very, very sweet if someone recognized my true gift and what I have to give to other people and our world to make this a better place for all. It would be a dream come true!  It would be the pinnacle of pinnacles, after all the experiences I've gone through.

Article 120 Determined

I will make this happen for myself too- just like everything else in my life-  I am as determined as determined can be to move forward with anticipation and recognition with my public speaking career.  And even though I have shared and spoken before, many a times, and filled many a rooms with encouragement, hope and empowerment I will keep on keeping on till that someone sees and recognizes my potential and what I have to give to the world.

Article 121 Learn

Recently, Over and over again in the news and media, I keep hearing and reading about how they treat "Us" individuals with learning disabilities.  After all these years, I still see how they tend to degrade people with LD, and disregard our needs and desires as human beings. They treat us with little or no respect, still.  Even after all these years they segregate and label us for there OWN convinces!  This outrages me!  What can we do as a team?  What can we do as individuals with LD to put a stop to this?  What can we do to make our voices heard and to effect a change in this world and society? 

I have been told...in strength there is numbers.  How can we, ourselves, begin a movement towards bettering life and the world around us!  Tell me?

Article 122 Cleansing of the Heart & Soul

Today has been a day to reflect upon my life and to let go of my past.  Once again, I have written my feelings down, only to release them from my being, and to gain strength and knowledge to live my life in a different way.  It is time to let go so that my body and mind have the opportunity to heal and regain its vitality, its  beauty, its serenity, and the peace of mind that is my due birthright.  I let go and send my love out to everyone!  Especially those who I feel have taught me the most valuable lessons around...:>))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Article 123 The Day After

Its the day after, and I have been reading and learning all kinds of new things. I am also more intune and am listening even more closely to my life's note, issues, and events, as I let go of my past one at a time.  No more of hanging on to certain ideas and old thoughts that hurt and wounded me-  Gone they are! As I believe in the birthright to live, love, renew my inner soul's intentions, rejuvenate my spirit and physical body, along with its simple beauties.  I truly want to see and recognize my own glory, as I rebuild my physical body to health.

Article 124 My Visit

It is the day after, and I visited my new homeopathic doctor.  Had a consultation, and an acupuncture treatment.  I was also given some homework assignments to do and tasks to perform.  In addition, I was given some new guidelines and instructions as to what foods I aught to be eating now. To be honest with myself, after I came home and had dinner, I began to anguish and have a panic attack over it, but then I told myself..."the doctor knows more than you!"  Your way has not worked, nor the latest way- so be open-minded and try his-"  that's when I began to calm down, and find peace and acceptance within my soul and being. 

I must go for now, because I must start making phone calls and ordering my list of prescriptions I need. So until I write again...

Article 126 Inspiration

Today, I spent the first 5 hours of my day writing a letter and advocating for a woman who's son has C.P. and a learning disability.  She needed some help and Salas for this IEP meeting on Friday.  Well, to say the least, I was there for her.  It made me feel warm inside knowing that I could help her.  It rejuvenated my spirit knowing I was able to be their for her in a time of real need. Reaching out to take her hand made me feel grateful for all the life experience I've ever had to go through!

Article 127 Today's Journey

It is now 5 p.m. and I just came home from the doctors with my husband.  I also see that it has been 5 days since I last wrote anything on my blog.  Oh my... but to be honest, It was all I could do to stay focused and together the last three days.  I have had an emotionally trying and draining week, trying to keep it together emotionally.  I had my moments, had a good cry, of which I believe brings a good release to the heart of pent up feelings and emotions.  It does a heart really good:>)  Along with writing your feelings out and tearing them up, burning them and releasing them.

It helps to move through a situation at hand, however, sometimes if you can't, if one is willing, like I have been all my life, it may take years, and years, and years in a particular area in order to have a break through or healing. Sometimes I think my issue will never end, or that I won't be healed! It is a wound that keeps coming back time and time again.  No matter how deep I dig to release this from my being, it's still there!  It haunts me like a ghost! And then, suddenly, I am lead to someone eles or lead towards a whole new direction and action in my life to take. All I find I need to have is an open mind:>))))))))))) and a willingness that never quits!!!!!

One of the on-going challenges I've been experiencing has physically gone on for the last 35 years.  I don't like to talk about this much, because I've worked on it for so long-.  I am hear to tell you that I am still alive and ticking and getting to the root cause.  I have learned to cope and accept my allergies to all the different food I have.  I will continue on, because I must!  I will seek more, and research more, and reach out to those Doctors who I think might be able to help further! You see, in the last 5 years my body has been reacting violently to foods and not getting the nutrient to what I eat. 

I have been working with the best Naturopathic Doctor's around.  And Monday, I will be going to see a new Homeopathic Doctor.  These challenges have been far more heart wrenching than my Cerebral Palsy and Learning Disability.  When I begin to think about this for a minute, it is very painful, it is more painful, and up there emotionally with fighting for my life and my education with my Civil Rights Case , or trying to prove to the world that I am a capable person in doing anything I put my mind towards doing!

But I will survive and get through this just like everything else!  I will!  I really will!

Now that I have spilled my guts...I will close; as I must prepare my dinner.

Article 128 Activity is a good thing

It is now 2:00 p.m. in the afternoon California time, and I have been on the go all morning.  I have been writing to people all day long and networking. What a wonderful feeling to take action and, to make things in your life come to pass!  What's even sweeter is when you connect with others who have the same interest as you and bond and work together in unison's.  There is nothing warmer than that! 

Well, I have a dozen or more things left on my agenda today, so I will sign off for now.

Take care...

Article 129 Becomming Visiable

Dear Blog,

I know I have not been doing much entering lately.  I have been taking care of life's most important issues right now.  These issues are formost, and stand before me at this point and time. I not only have been working on updating and making Whispers of Hope better than what it is already, but I am bringing another new web and blog design to this site!  I have been doing whats before me and taking care of the most important things before me. I have also been holding down the fort, too:>))) I have been caring for my husband who broke his leg 3 weeks ago now! 

Thus, I am doing triple duty!  Not to mention the fact of taking care of me, my health, my animals, my home, and everything else that goes with daily living. I have been juggling a lot and doing very well. My days are long and quite full, but I look towards it all positively and being grateful for everything that is happening.  This fills my heart up and give me a good feeling inside.  Life is not always a rose garden, but I keep pulling the weeds to make it beautiful:>)

I will write more when I can. And I will enter this code too, for all you bloggers out there:>)<a href="http://technorati.com/claim/h4webbim3" rel="me">Technorati Profile</a>

Article 130 So content

For the last week and a half, I have been caring for my husband who has broken his foot in three different places.  Even though he will be in a cast for the next five weeks, I am grateful I have been able to be an example for him.  It warms my heart to see him walking with his crutches, caring items in his mouth, as a third hand, and willing to do for himself!  Willing to go beyond, and, willing to regain his strength and have the fighting spirit which we all must have to keep on going:>)))))))))))

Article 131 Another Day

Hi all!

I am checking in from another busy day of caring for my hubby:>) Boy, am I ever grateful!  I am so glad that I have the ability to do what I do, otherwise I do not know where I would be.  I am so thankful I have had a fighting spirit all my life and have never given up on myself and kept the hope and faith in my heart, no matter what!

I am going to sign out for now, but thought writing would do me good, and it has:>)))))))))))))

Until tomorrow...

Article 132 My Personal Battle!

This morning I received the nicest complement a person could get!  It was from a new friend I just met on line.  A very sweet soul who came into my life with angel wings! She not only is giving me her support, but has put one of my writings up on her blog.  How sweet is that- and oh how I appreciate her love, devotion, and kindness! 

The truth is, that ever since I can remember, I have been passionate about getting "my life," Together,  whatever that is:>)))) lol, and giving more that 150 percent to it, in everything I do.  I don't know any other way.  Weather its dealing with a physical therapy issue, a learning issue, an inclusion issue, an employment issue, what ever the issue was, I have always, always walked the line!  No matter what I have had to deal with, I have always spoken the truth, and given everyone my all weather they could except it or not. I payed the consequences too!

More times than not, the people I confronted, could not handle the truth. Yet I was canned in the way they decided.  Most people could not, and did not know how to cope with the issue or situation at hand or with me personally!  They liked to tastefully turn the tables, put me on the defensive, and make me out to be the bad guy!  And I, I only want to see good for the world, I only want peace and harmony for others, and I only want to share with the world- if I could do it, so could you!

I don't want favors, and charity!  I don't want to be treated any differently just because I have a physical disability or a learning disability.  I may need some help.  And I will ask, if I do!  As there is absolutely nothing wrong in asking for those accommodations and in turn, receiving them, fulfilled. And giving it your all! There is nothing wrong in having the same desires as others!  We are all human!  Aren't we?  Why then should we be looked at any differently?

I do not think society ever dealt with a human being just like me before!  A free spirit, a rebel with a cause, a person who has hope, dreams and desires, and whats to help others not have to go through what I had to go through!  And to see those dreams accomplished.  I am a person who is willing to go the extra mile, who is willing to take on the system, to not only see equality for herself, but equity  for others!  I want to see and bare witness to fairness. I want to bare witness to justice being made for my kind.  It doesn't matter to me what your disability is- lets learn to help each other and work in unison.  "One for all,... and... all for one"  This way all  of us can have an opportunity and chance to have our wants, need, and dreams met. 

We are not animals to be lock in cages.  We are not extra ammunition or surplus to be shot rounds at.  And, we are not criminals!  We are human beings desiring the same things in life that"NORMAL" people have a chance at daily.  So why can't we!   We do not deserve this kind of treatment.  We are people who want to succeed in our lives-  We want to see our hard deserved action recognized-  We want our words to be taken seriously, and we to want to be praised and validated- we want other to recognize our achievement without being locked out of the mainstream of life!  We want our lives to have meaning too!

We don't want to just sit at home day in or day out, and stare at the four walls because we were blocked, conveniently, from earning a living, or getting a degree that we could have gotten if those professionals who call themselves professionals did not stand in our way, or label  us, or made a unsound ruling and judgment just because we are shrouded with an imperfect body, or mind... this does not give anybody the right to look down upon us, or judge us.

Article 133 The Fight For What's Right

To often in my life, I have not been taken seriously.  I have been looked down upon, and conveniently tossed aside because I was passionate about what I felt, and believed in, and how I wanted to expand my life.  Down deep within me, I wanted to be accepted in this world and participate in life just like everyone else-  I wanted my thoughts and feeling to matter, and I wanted to be considered just like everyone else.

But I was belittled, made fun of, and ostracized, I have walked the line, gone the distance, and climbed hurtles that most might think are the unthinkable!  I have stayed as positive and as strong as I could to survive and thrive amongst the rest!  Some how, some way I had to and still have to make a difference in my life, to be the best person I can be, and give back to life and all man kind what I have learned...

If I have to fight the rest of my life to succeed, I will- because there is no stopping, me!   

Article 134 Did You Know

That when you post on your blog it boost and raise's people's awareness of your site, and your URL!

Article 135 YOUR RESPONSE

Hi, everyone, Thank you for stopping by and visiting me.:))))))  I would love to hear from you personally, and hear what you think about my post's.  If you have some thoughts, feelings or views on this subject, just jot them down, and email me your comments or personal story's...

I'll be waiting to hear from you!

Article 136 What Does it Feel Like?

After Living a life with a physical disability of Cerebral Palsy, and a learning disability, dyslexia I realize many things.  First I realize how I have gone the extra mile in everything I have done and accomplished in my life.  Secondly, I've learned about being labeled, fighting the system, and coming out a winner with more self-worth, self confidence, and dignity to keep on keeping on-

I have had people show me their BIOS and prejudice  attitudes, and I have reasoned and maneuvered around, about, and above all the insensitivity's of human nature.  I did not let people, places or things put there mark or classification on me!  I left them with a mark!  I left them with the teaching and knowledge: that I am like everyone else in this world.  I may have C.P. and a slight inconvenience, but I am just like you!  I have also instructed and imparted, by my deeds and words to be treated with dignity and respect.  I have taught and educated by the path that I have taken.  I have not only been assertive, but through my own tolerance, love, sincerity, kindness, and determination to light up and wake up this world.  Through my actions, I have climbed the highest mountain.  And I will continue to climb!  I will not sit back and lethargically let people step over me any time they wish.  I will teach by being me, compassion for all!

Article 137 Why Can't People Understand?

Today was another power punching day of more realization and lesson learning.  I wanted to write to make time to release and let go of all the things that took place in my day.  I ponder my soul in wonderment of why people cannot understand what "we" who have learning disabilities or physical disabilities go through to try and fit in to life and society. 

We work 10 times harded to fit in, in order to make some kind of  normalcy of our life.  We do this for ourselves, just  to be included in the community of our world just to be and feel like "normal" people who fit in!  If man-kind only knew!  If they only new the effort we put forth!  If only they knew innwadly what we go through daily-  If they coud feel what we feel what we feel every day of our lives- 

If they had to cope and deal with the challengels we have before us, with our disabilities, and tried to put forth the effort we do, on a daily basises, physically, emotionally, and spritually, I don't think they could handle it!  I don't think they could or would be able to keep up the brave front.  I don't think they could constantly keep smiling.  I don't think they could handle the inner emotions we go through- I really personally don't think they could last very long!

What do you think?  I pose this question to all of you reading this entry.

Article 138 A Growing Day

Today was a day full of challenges.  A day full of speaking up for myself, and a day trying to get my thoughts and feeling across to others.   It was a day packed with punch; as I dealt with difficult personalities while explaining my perception and situations as they occured.

Even though it was very stressful, I was able to give to others in a kind and gentle way. I was able to give hope, and I was able to share from my heart that they are not alone in there feelings.  I was able to come through this day feeling grateful, and thankful.  I was also very grateful I had someone special to listen to me and my feelings so I could let them go. 

You know, at times it's not easy trying to speak up for yourself, being heard, respected, or treated equally.  One has to learn to accept others and be willing to agree to diagree and let be what needs to be.  Especially when you act, and do things just like any other person in this world, but your physical body looks different than the norm- because you have C. P. since 5 months old, and an invisable learning disability, that as much as you try to educate and explain to others, they just don't ever get it!

Article 139 Tell Me!

Today, I have been getting many email's on blog entries, concerning learning disabilities. These blog entries are from other peoples blogs. One by one, I have been reading through them all.  And I am affected and effected by the things I have read.

You see, I have come a long way, and have triumphed over many of my life's challenges as a person with Cerebral Palsy and a learning disability, but in this area, on my website, I have had trouble creating the kind of environment I think you would like. I have not been successfully able to engage or get other people with any kind of a disability to reach out to me, let alone communicate to me or my web site to share their feelings and thoughts.

Can you tell me what I am missing, or what I need to get beyond this point?

  I am not sure why- but I realize that I can't do it alone anymore, and that is why I am writing this entry.  I really would like to hear from you; as I need your  help.  I really need your input as I would like to create a special place for all of you to come  and, to interact with me, as well as others like ourselves!  I want this to be a place where you feel safe and comfortable.  I want this to be a place where you can let your hair down and be yourself!   

Without any doubt or hesitation, I would like this place, to be a place where people from all over the world can come and share their feelings and stories:>)  It doesn't matter what type of disability you have, because I feel we all have something to, give, share, and say!  I truly feel we can all make that difference.  We all can make this a better place for one-another, one person at a time, and touch peoples lives in the process.

I have searched my heart and soul, and have geared my entire life to helping others with physical disabi